Progress Report

Back in 2000, Julia Roberts was on Oprah one day promoting her new movie Erin Brokovich.  At the time she was dating actor Benjamin Bratt.  When Oprah asked Julia about the scene where she showed her cleavage to get a clerk to help her, Julia laughed and said that Ben said "it takes a village to raise that cleavage!"  I kind of feel that way about this new body.  This is by far the most pain I have ever endured in my life.  I gave birth to three of my four boys without any pain medication.  I've had 3 kidney stones.  I like to think I am not a wimp.  This has been awful.  I still hurt when I change positions.  I am finally sleeping in my bed but I wake up every time I have to change positions.  There are times I'm so emotional and sad that I don't know what to do.  I'm 3 weeks out and I still have my surgical drain in my belly incision.  All my assumptions about bouncing back quickly are just not happening.  This is going to take time and that fact goes in the minus column, not the plus.  But then, getting back to Julia and Ben, there is the plus column.  

My village has way stepped up!  Surgery day did not go as planned.  My 4-6 hour surgery became 12 hours.  I kissed Hollis at 7:45 AM and did not see his face again until 10:00 that night.  I cannot imagine how awful that day must have been for him.  The updates that came regularly early in the day more or less stopped late afternoon and although my surgeon did step out to tell him they were taking me back to surgery, he did not ever return to tell Hollis what had happened or how I was.  When I did wake up, Hollis, Morgan and Harris were there to greet me.  I'm sure it was a long, frightening day for all of them and many others.  Things I didn't anticipate; 1.  Being too weak to hold my phone and text.  I couldn't text much on Thursday or Friday.  Who is too weak to text?!?  2.  Really good nurses!  They were in my room within minutes of my call and were so caring and gentle.  Even getting me up to walk (which sucked), they were caring, gentle and encouraging. 3.  An endless supply of ice cream, pudding and apple juice!  I guess that falls under the great nurses list but it was sure yummy.

Hollis came back to the hospital Thursday morning.  After he left for work, Eboni came so sit with me.  She crocheted while I slept and saw to my every need.  She also spearheaded the care calendar so I would have caretakers and meals for two weeks when I got home.  Shelley came after work.  She look so relieved to see me.  She was planning to come after surgery on Wednesday but Hollis told her to wait.  My priest, Fr. Hill came to see me as did my friends Lori and Tracy.  Hollis came back after work Friday so we could watch the Astros game and then he came on Saturday to take me home.  My quilt buddy Marsha is a retired nurse.  She came over on Sunday to reassure Hollis and me that all was going well.  It was.  I have had soooooo much good food!  As I slept in the recliner in the living room, Hollis slept on the sofa.  I got care like I've never had, or needed.  Clayton and Courtney stopped by Sunday and they had been telling Cayden that he couldn't hug me.  When he came in he said "Omi, you got owies?"  Yes, baby, Omi gots owies.  H stayed home Monday and Tuesday but the visitors and goodies just kept coming.  I got two beautiful flower arrangements while I was in the hospital and Melanie brought me more flowers, food and a fabulous mocha frappe.  I get cards and notes in the mail every day or two.  I gotta admit, the next few days and the caretakers and food bearers are a bit of a blur.  My sister drove 5 hours from Tyler Wednesday night and arrived in time for us to watch the Astros win the World Series.  That woman is nothing short of a wonder! She took really good care of me and cleaned, I mean really cleaned some neglected parts of my house.  She and I watched the Astros parade on TV Friday afternoon and then she left and Hollis resumed full time care for the next three days.  Monday included a visit to my surgeon's nurse to have two surgical drains removed and that trip alone wore me completely out.  I was still waiting to bounce back.

The rest of the week was 2 caretakers per day, more amazing food deliveries and pain.  My friend Julia has been texting me every day or two checking on my and telling me to be a princess.  This is not something I have much knowledge of, interest in or even tolerance for.  It's been hard to ask for someone to bring me a bottle of water and everything else I've needed.  I had to have pillows under both arms anytime I was sitting.  I could barely lift them so I needed lots of help.  And I wasn't very entertaining.  I slept an awful lot.  I am now able to get in and out of bed, recliners, and walk in our pasture.  I think I am still a week or two away from being out in public.  Bumpy roads will be painful and I don't know when I will be released to drive.  My chest is very bruised and sore.  They said it would take time.  I really hoped they were exagerating.  Apparently, they were not.

I am beyond grateful for my village.  I have not even listed all the wonderful people in this writing who have been so amazing.  I have no way to even begin to thank them.  As we faced week 3, there were no caretakers scheduled because as you know, I thought I'd be all better by then.  I was a bit panicky about being on my own Monday so you know what?  My college roommate, friend of 39 years, drove 4 hours Sunday and cared for me Monday and Tuesday all while cooking up a storm, cleaning and doing laundry and keeping me from giving into the nagging sadness in the back of my mind.  Lori, you have blown my mind with your energy, love and willingness to do this for me.  I cannot even find words!  Thank you to all my village.  What a lame sentence.  I have so much thanking to do.  I only hope that when I am needed that I will be able to shine as brightly as those who have helped me.  It will just be a few weeks before I can be needed.  

Lastly, when my surgeon called me a week after surgery, he told me that I made the right decision.  He said that in addition to the two instances of noninvasive cancer in my right breast that the pathologists had also found just a bit of invasive cancer.  Then he really surprised me.  He said that they found 3 different types of precancerous cells in my left breast.  If I had not had a double mastectomy now, we would be doing all this again next year.  The good news is, I made the right decision for my own health and long life.  Okay, I'll be a princess for a few more days (weeks) but then I need to get on with this life that we all saved.  How do I thank you all for helping to save my life?  I guess we will find out. . .